Howdy, Roanoke Glass Peeps,
Valerie Hunt, your intrepid girl reporter here, reporting for the Roanoke Glass. Welcome back to my column: “World of the Wise.”
Rumors are a flutter, me peeps, and this Fearless Reporter Girl is going to get to the bottom of them!
Our next dorm, continuing counterclockwise, is Drake Hall, and Drake is the hub of many spiraling rumors. Everyone thought that glamour girl Sandra Griffin—who achieved five rings of mastery before she graduated—was secretly dating William Locke, who was two-timing her with the ex-fiancée of his wounded childhood friend, Blackie Moth.
But no! I say thee, Nay!
Apparently, gather around all, it came out at the Year of the Dragon Ball that she was dating the Lord of Evil himself, Olympic hero and Crown Prince of Bavaria: Vladimir Von Dread.
What will Countess Jasmine Grimaldi do? Everyone knows that her country is right next to Bavaria, and her father and Dread’s father are hoping for a match between the prince and the countess.
Or what will Kveta “Daisy” Vesela do? Archduchess Kveta’s country also borders Bavaria, and she is the sovereign of her country. Kind Ludwig II has had his eye on expanding into Moravia for decades. Is Kveta the favorite candidate in the eyes of the Bavarian King?
What will the heavy-handed King Ludwig IV – the only king in all of history to actually nuke another country back to the stone ages (Why did he do that? I’m going to investigate) do when he learns that his Lord of Evil son has tossed aside all the king’s plans of expansion for LOVE?
No news yet, but be assured, if there is any, you’ll hear it here first!
Now, onto creepy Drake Hall. The home of the terrifying but ungodly handsome Dread, the intellectual and elfin William Locke and cutie-pie Gaius Valiant, as well as my bestie, Salome Iscariot.
Here we go!
Drake Hall is named for the most powerful of all Elizabethan sorcerers, Sir Francis Drake. Drake did visit Roanoke Island when it was still moored in its original location off the coast of North Carolina. He also summoned the storm that sank the Spanish Armada just off the coast of England. Even the Unwary have reports of his being some kind of wizard.
Drake Hall is an eerie building, even on a bright day. It is built of gray stone and has its own clock tower, belfry, and moat. It has high, slanted black roofs and a whole bunch of rectangular towers or turrets that, so far as I could discover, have no particular use.
Two stone lions guard the door. One is sleeping; one is awake. Some say this means that the building is guarded in the waking world and in dreams.
This fall, during the fight between the dean and Dr. Mordeau, an earthquake split Drake Hall in half. A group of faculty and alumni gathered to restore it with the Word of Mending cantrip. It was an impressive example of the canticle Art.
Underneath Drake Hall are the Summoning Vaults, where summonings can be performed. Back in September, there was a huge battle here which ended when Vladimir Von Dread, the head evil boy himself, summoned up some kind of water elemental he could not put down again. Still, it put a quick end to all the students firing spells and trying to stab each other.
Behind the dorm is a collection of cages holding sacrificial animals. At least once a semester, someone from another dorm tries to save these animals. Schemes have included smuggling them into other dorms, hiding them in the menagerie and pretending that they are familiars, and letting them go to run free all over campus. Also, Lucky the Dragon has been caught eating the sacrificial animals on several occasions.
Drake is the only building on campus with a moat. The water runs from the Reflecting Lake in front of Roanoke Hall, through an underground pipe, to the moat, and then away into a brook that runs through the woods to College Creek (called Roanoke Creek by some.) Your intrepid reporter girl inquired and discovered that the purpose of the moat is to act as a ward. Many supernatural entities cannot cross running water. It is a last-ditch defense in case an unwise student were to summon up something that got out of hand.
Future Careers: jail—that’s where practitioners of black magic go. Necromancers and the like. Other than that? Agent is a big one. Agents need to know this crazy thaumaturge stuff. Duelist or a spellcaster for a duelist. Some professional duelists cast their own spells; others hire someone to do it for them.
Soldiers, specifically fulgurators—who are soldiers who fight with lightning, the same way cavalry are soldiers who fight on horseback; Surgeons—many healing spells require a thaumaturgist to combine several Arts together to get the desired effect; transformation specialists—used in all sorts of areas including theatre
Gentleman of Leisure—seriously, most Drake alumni are so rich that they never need to work at all, which might be why they have so much free time for evil.
Notable Alumni: Every practitioner of black magic ever!
You think I kid? Aaron Marley who freed the Terrible Five from their stone prisons? Drake! Johan Faust the fifth who summoned Azrael for the first time? Drake!
Johan Faust the Sixth who helped lead Veltdammerung during the Terrible Years? Drake!
Terrible Five’sight hand man, Maugris Zurkov? Drake!
The necromancer Claudius Stark? Drake!
Eliaures Charles, the Serpent Master, the father of our evil math teacher Dr. Mordeau? Yes, you guessed it. Drake.
Okay, maybe Drake has a few alumni that did not turn evil, but I have no idea who they are.
Sadly, it is not just the alumni who go bad. Just this year, the Faculty Advisor for Drake turned into a dragon and tried to eat the school. Students of hers were possessed and attacked their fellow students. Or they said they were possessed, apparently, some were not. They just liked fighting their fellow classmates.
Princes Remus and Fenris Starkadder, both of Drake, were executed by their father for plotting to kill their older brother, Crown Prince Romulus. Did you hear what he did to the elder Princess of Magical Australia at the Year of the Dragon Ball? Ah, but Romulus is not a denizen of Drake, so I digress.
Oh, my bestie Salome points out that she lives in Drake, and she is not evil. This is true, though she does have an almost magical ability to annoy people.
Want to know more about the denizens of Drake? Check out the anthology God, Robot to learn about the secret past of William Locke. It also gives us a glimpse of the previous life of Rachel Griffin’s new friend Astrid Hollywell and her Uncle Pythagoras—who is known by another name on our world.
But be warned! Only the events of the short story “The Ring of Sounding Brass” are acknowledged as canon. The truth of the rest of Locke’s story is anyone’s guess!
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God, Robot
It is the year 6080 AD. Detective Theseus Hollywell has, at last, discovered the hiding place of William Locke, a notorious fugitive from justice who has been hunted for decades after committing unspeakable crimes.
But Locke has a trick up his sleeve, one that the detective couldn't expect: He has a story to tell.
This is the tale of the theobots, the robotic beings created to love God and neighbor with a perfection no human could achieve. In ten stories by eight different award-winning authors, Locke recounts the role of the theobots throughout history, from the purposes for which they were originally created to their ultimate role in deciding the fate of Man, the galaxy, and one lost and tortured soul.